A little story
Marriage is defined by particular rules in society. The sharing of love, the begetting of children, the sharing of property. Shared values between the couple are important. Trust is one which comes to mind.
Every married person whom I've ever met can quickly identity the single thing which brings them closer as a couple. Some people say it's close communications. Others say it's an inner beauty which is hard to define.
The one thing that I've always admired about my wife is her total trust in me. Trust of the other rates pretty high as a quality in a successful marriage. Trust and honesty are but one and the same. Trust fuses one to the other in marriage. Honesty in marriage allows each spouse to share intimate feelings.
But, marriage also allows for exceptions. Rules that keep a marriage together are not air tight. There's an ebb and a flow in marriage. I'm sure that I am not the first to recognize 'the exceptions rule' in marriage. In law school, professors place high priority on the 'exceptions rule' beginning with Happy Marriages 100. I'm very, very grateful for the 'exceptions rule' in our marriage. I'm overjoyed that it's permitted. To put this notion of 'exception' into context, let me say it has saved me more than once. I can even provide some examples.
Years ago, my wife decided that she wanted to go shopping at a popular mall in Ottawa. I thought it was was a reasonable request. I offered to drive. What's there to lose with another coffee?
As I'm sipping my Tall Bold, I spot world famous pianist Oscar Peterson. I had seen him perform several times in Toronto. And, I know the Big 'O' when I see him. I had read in the jazz rag that he'd been sick. On this occasion, he was in a wheelchair and he was being cared for by a nurse. I jive over and introduce myself. Oscar and I bond. He's got warm hands. Can easily grab a 'tenth'. And, he's got the warmest soul. Always smiling. In love with the world. Over the years, the entire world had bonded with Mr. 'P'.
Earlier, I had said that my wife completely trusts me. I'm about to test my hypothesis. So, I ask Mr. 'P' if he'll be patient. Sure, what's up? I run into the store to grab my wife. She occupied with jeans. No, she can't come with me as she has another fitting or two. I beg, plead and nearly cry. I'm thinking; 'what about trust'? Finally, she recognizes my torture so she gives in. I introduce her to Mr. 'P'. Kindness all over. Just as they said in the books which have been written about him. Knows the keyboard too. My wife is smitten. Jazz has gained respectability in our home. Trust is back. Mr. 'P's in heaven. I trust Him.
Now, it's mid February 2011. We're on the train about to leave Ottawa. Sitting ahead of us is a man I also recognize. One could say he's a famous Canadian. Might be unusual but he's got no body guards apart from his wife. I'm not sure if he's armed. I had met him several times on a casual basis. But, I'm retired. My wife is occupied with her book --- something to do with food and fine dining. We're bound for 'nowhere' just another city near Ontario.
Cathy and I have been married for about fourteen years, so I can read her mind. I thought about my wife's 'trust' in me. I also thought about the best time to invoke another 'trust' hypothesis. My wife needs time to digest. Timing is precious in an operation such as this. For timing to work, one has to build upon trust. I decide to forgo introductions with the man until we're at our destination.
The man doesn't realize that he and his wife are being 'tailed'. I tell my wife the identity of the 'man'. At first she's in disbelief. Momentarily lacks trust.
After a few minutes, the man and his wife stall to look around in the new railway station. I nudge my wife and we walk over. I introduce myself to remind him of my name. He greets my wife warmly and he introduces us to his wife. She too welcomes us warmly. We mix up some small talk with the other couple. They are very relaxed. And, there's no fright on our part.
Finally, I know it's time to break away. My wife say's it first. It's been a pleasure to meet you 'Commissioner Elliot'. The Commissioner shook hands with both of us. Mrs Elliott did also.
My wife and I were silent for awhile. She's thinking. Cathy then said; 'I can't believe that I just met the RCMP Commissioner. He's very polite'.
Sure did Sweetheart, trust me.
'Maintain Our Memories'
J. J. Healy,